I miss my friends. I really do. I have been talking to Chris about this quite a bit.
I have only a handful to begin with, but of those, I rarely speak to any of them.
I call them sometimes on the weekends, just to say Hi, and once in a great while, Effie will call me, or if I send out an e mail, I get some response...but it is so hard to not have those friends in contact more often.

Frankly....It really hurts!

The friends I do have, I have in order of length of knowing them:
Kathy, friends since elementary, haven't heard from her since right after my ex husband and I separated..maybe once or twice, but I call..she is probably married now, and how would I know??
Jody, since High school, saw each other last year at Donovans party.
Jennifer, college roommate, I drove out south to see her for a day last year, got one e-mail since then.
And there is Jen, since 1992..I saw her in Dec, but I never hear much from her either, I know she is as busy as I am, but can no one call me once in a while just to say HI?!?!?!?
Teresa, getting married, haven't seen here since before I WAS MARRIED.. I tried to arrange a trip, to see her, but my job kept me from taking it.
Effie too..I saw her during my trip out east as well.
These are the closest dearest friends I have and I have to call them or send them e mail to keep in touch.. is it me? have I done something wrong??I know I talk a lot, but geez, I need friends too.
Please don't think this is a pity post, its not, I have happiness in my life.. I just am perplexed as to why it is so hard to stay in contact with a friend..I do try, I really do, but I feel my self growing farther and farther apart from these women whom I have had a long standing relationship with.. I really do miss my friends!!
I wish they would be able to know how much I miss talking to them, and hearing their stories and finding out their life changes, everything..
but alas, it is not so.
I can't forget to mention the other friends I have made along the way, Tina, bless her heart, she calls me, and it is so nice to hear from her, but she lives in Maryland, its so far away, and I have never even met her in person.
Alouis, the one who nannied the same kids as me, we only see each other at the Bar Mitzvah of the kids...
And I always have my sister, but for those of you with sisters, you know thats totally different.
I can't fail to mention that I am aware of how expensive it is to visit, and make calls, I really try not to talk too long when anyone does call, but I still make an effort.. I will continue to make that effort until they tell me not too. I know we are still friends, and life has gotten in the way, but I am still out here, ready to hear from you.. tell me how you are!! I really want to know.. I swear!
I will continue to do the best I can to tighten that bond I share..perhaps this is part of Gods plan for me..only he knows for sure.
But for whats its worth, girls!! I do love you all and still think of you often...I have not forgotten you.. and to me.. you are still my friends!!

H